John Schneider, Author at Adulting

What’s your excuse for not investing in yourself? We all have one. Here’s what you need to know about ditching the excuses and living your life. Read More...

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John Schneider

If you made it to work Monday morning, congratulations!

You survived life and work for another week. Why does this warrant a celebration?

The leading cause of death in the U.S. is heart disease. The most common time of the week for heart attacks is Monday morning between 4 am and 10 am. Researchers say, “an ‘outpouring’ of stress hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline, occurs within working people on Monday” mornings.

Americans hate their jobs and are dying not to go!

Monday morning blues and Sunday funday.

A Monday doesn’t go by without a friend of mine posting on Facebook a meme or video expressing their dread of yet another work week. A Friday doesn’t go by without a steady stream of posts celebrating the weekend’s arrival.

A recent study showed that nearly 70 percent of Americans hate their jobs. They’re “not engaged” (17.5%) or are “actively disengaged” (51%). Even before they’ve paid off their student loans, people are over their jobs and checked out.

Most Americans suffer the five stages of grief on a weekly basis. Sunday funday is fun only because it’s the only day of the week many of us enjoy.

Is this you?

The value of investing in yourself.

On average, adults between the ages of 35 and 49 watch 33 hours of television a week, yet 81% of Americans want to write a book.

If you’ve lost passion for your life and work, how will you get that passion back and become the person you’re meant to be? From experience, I can tell you that you must invest in yourself in order to get off the couch and live your dreams.

For about two years, not long ago, I was miserable at my job. My working conditions were horrible and I lost my passion. My life felt like the instructions on a shampoo bottle: Wake. Work. Sleep. Repeat.

I wanted to write a book. By this time, I had a book mostly written. It fell on my list of importance when life became hard and routine and I grew apathetic. I soon realized that either my situation couldn’t continue or I couldn’t.

It was then that I started to make little investments in myself. I started doing 30 minutes of cardio a day. Rather than listen to music while I did my cardio, I listened to motivational speakers.

These little investments were contagious. A half an hour on the treadmill evolved into long weekend runs. Listening to motivational speakers on YouTube turned into listening to motivational and educational podcasts, reading “how to” eBooks, meditating and journaling. I said and did different things and got different results.

Einstein would arguably be proud.

I soon found the courage to quit my soul-sucking job and align with my purpose. I published my book and three more since then. That first book birthed a new career for me and my life has never been better.

This is the value of investing in yourself.

Rescue yourself by growing yourself.

When a plane prepares for take-off, the airline attendant on the plane’s sound systems says, “If there’s a drop in pressure, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. Put on your mask before assisting others.” This goes against every mother’s instincts, but a mother can’t rescue her children if she needs rescuing herself.

How are you rescuing yourself?

Whether you want to advance in your current career, start a new career, simply be a better person, or be more helpful, how are you rescuing yourself from “the routine,” “the daily grind,” and “the 9-to-5?”

Are you reading books at nights and on weekends? Are you listening to podcasts when you’re driving to and from work? Are you learning new skills through your current employer or elsewhere? Are you taking webinars at nights and on weekends? Are you eating healthy and exercising?

These are investments in yourself. Many of us make the mistake in thinking that the growing stops upon graduation from school, but graduation is only the beginning of growing. We have many, many more years of learning ahead of us. It’s our responsibility to continue to grow, improve and contribute.

Yet we make up excuses why want can’t do better or be better. We build artificial walls in our minds that rationalize the routine of the 9-to-5 grind. We tell ourselves that we’re not smart enough, educated enough, good looking enough, young enough, old enough, healthy enough, or important enough. My favorite, and the ultimate excuse free with time.

My favorite, and the ultimate excuse, is that you don’t have enough free time.

The dilemma is that someone with similar circumstances as you found and is living their passion. If they can do it, so can you!

Learn the lesson or repeat it.

Your current state is your teacher. Tony Robbins says that “life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us.” If your current state is depression, stress, or unhappiness, there’s a lesson for you to learn.

When I was first inspired to write my book, that was the whisper. I ignored the whisper and then the inside voice. I ignored the talk and the call. Not until my yelled at me did I heed the call.

If you don’t learn your lesson now, you’ll repeat it until you do. As my experience shows, the only way to get value from the lesson is by investing in yourself.

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Are you listening to the messages from the universe telling you it’s time to move on? Don’t make the mistake of ignoring your purpose for years. Read More...

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John Schneider

Four years ago, I was working for the Miranda Priestly of financial services.

She didn’t disagree with you, she “violently disagreed” with you. Her colleague, my senior, confided in me, “Your boss is difficult.” My forced grin showed I agreed.

Up until I worked for her, I enjoyed my career in finance. Over two years, it went from enjoyment to depression to desperation. When I started looking forward to weekends only to hide in bed, I knew things were bad.

My last performance review with her was Fatal Attraction meets The Twilight Zone. She was saying things that weren’t true and dismissing the truth. In a flash, I felt adrenaline take over my body and realized that I was being pushed out. Nothing I said or did would change my fate.

I was destined to either quit or be fired. I chose the former. I went into her office and resigned. The best part was when she asked what I planned to do.

“Nothing,” I said.

It was the best way give her the middle finger without giving her the middle finger.

Had I paid attention, I would’ve know it was time to quit my job 13 years earlier.

The whisper.

When I moved to Denver from Philadelphia after college, I felt I needed to look like an adult.

Appearing like an adult, to me, meant decorating and furnishing my apartment from floor to ceiling in Pottery Barn.

The reason I moved to Colorado was to snowboard. This meant I needed new snowboarding clothes and equipment. These things were expensive and I had no money for them.

I rapidly acquired over $30,000 in credit card debt. Before I knew it, I also acquired the shame and regret that often come with debt.

One day, Oprah Winfrey hosted author Gary Zukav on her show to discuss his book, The Seat of the Soul. Zukav talked about how the universe gives us messages to learn our life’s purpose. He talked about how we often experience moments or spells of struggle and in those struggles is the message.

I thought, “It’s not ironic that I’m in financial services, telling people how to manage their money and buried in $30,000 worth of debt!”

Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” I decided to turn my negative situation into a positive situation by helping others with their financial mistakes. I found my purpose. I was excited.

The inside voice.

I grew up in a time and a place when it wasn’t okay to be gay. While my straight friends and peers were having their first boy-girl flings, I was stag. While my college friends felt sexually liberated, I was sexually repressed.

When I moved out on my own, started my career, and was financially independent, I made up for lost time. Part of how I acquired my debt was living the high life on evenings and weekends. I didn’t miss a single happy hour, dinner or weekend of clubbing with my new, queer community. Feeling uninhibited after a lifetime of inhibition made for an exorbitant cocktail when mixed with first paychecks.

Shortly after I found and forgot my life’s purpose, I found my life partner. When we first met, we were in puppy love and spent and lived without consequence.

A year and a half later, we went from ludus love to a combination of philia and eros love. We disclosed to each other our financial situations. We wondered why our peers were getting married, buying houses and having children while we were living in a friend’s basement apartment. We were digging ourselves deeper and deeper into a financial hole both metaphorically and physically.

Between the two of us, we had $51,000 in credit card debt. To add in irony, my partner also had a career in financial services. Like me, he was helping people manage their money when he couldn’t manage his own. To make a long story short, we created a financial plan and paid off our debt in two and a half years.

We knew it was no coincidence that we were both in financial services and made the same financial mistakes. We decided to use our personal and professional experiences to write a book to help others become and stay debt free.

We were starting to live our life’s purpose.

The outside voice.

Then life happened. We were financially liberated and moved from our basement apartment into a condo on the 12th floor of a high-rise with a view of Downtown Denver and The Rocky Mountains. We went from rarely seeing the light of day in our basement apartment to being the last people in Denver to see daylight.

Our knowledge of living debt free helped us save more and spend smarter. We strategically used credit cards to acquire hotel points and airline miles so we could travel extensively.

Our newfound happiness made us better employees and our careers moved on and up. We’d forgotten about our life’s purpose and settled into our life. We’d have sporadic stints of writing our book, but not with the fervor of people living their life’s purpose.

Writing a book is hard and we settled for easy.

The scream.

Eight years later, I was one of those people who was perpetually writing a book. By then, the universe had given me many messages and opportunities to fulfill my role in life. I didn’t listen.

The universe then assigned Cruella de Vil as my boss. I spent the next two years holding onto the familiar and seemingly safe for dear life.

Even though we had the financial resources to let me quit and even when I desperately wanted to quit, I refused. I fought for the scary because the alternative was scarier.

The listening.

It was just before my 40th birthday. I was finding happiness in planning my birthday party. I chose the perfect location. I ordered a cake from my favorite pastry shop. I invited my closest friends and family.

By then, the universe was done. When I felt that adrenaline infuse my body and I realized that I was being pushed out, in that moment I learned I had no option but to live my life’s purpose.

I went home that evening feeling calm and relieved. I couldn’t do what wasn’t doable. I talked with my husband, who knew I was depressed and masking my depression with a birthday party. We quickly agreed it was time to do what we were meant to do.

I quit my job.

The fulfilling.

Shortly thereafter we finally finished and published our book. We got serious about blogging. We turned our hobby into a business. Three years later our business is on its way to providing us the life we want to live and is helping live better lives.

If you’re trying to figure out your life’s purpose, whether you should quit your job or stay where you are, my guess is the universe already told you.

Listen before it screams.

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Who’s in charge? Your devices, or you? It’s time to show your technology who’s boss. Read More...

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John Schneider

My name is John and I’m a tech junkie.

Sure, I rationalize my tech-addiction by telling myself that I can stop whenever I want. I tell others that, as a predominantly online entrepreneur, I must constantly be connected to be effective. The fact is, I get anxious when I’m not close to my phone or computer.

I tell others that, as a predominantly online entrepreneur, I must constantly be connected to be effective. The fact is, I get anxious when I’m not close to my phone or computer.

The fact is, I get anxious when I’m not close to my phone or computer.

Because I’m predominantly an online entrepreneur, my tech addiction is worse. It’s so easy to justify wasted hours online.

When I go to Twitter or Facebook to do my job, I can easily get sucked into the vortex of social media. A half hour passes before I realize I wasted a bunch of time seeing the awesome lives my friends, colleagues, and family memebrs curate for the world. The line between social media work and social media play is easily blurred.

I know I’m not alone.

Medical terms that were non-existent even five years ago are ubiquitous today. There’s tech neck, phantom vibration syndrome, smartphone stress, and cell phone sickness — just to name a few.

Many of us admit our addiction, but most don’t do anything about it. We often laugh it off.

How do you know if technology is running (and ruining) your life?

When you can’t do dinner without looking at your phone.

When TV trays first came into America’s stores in 1953 and Swanson took TV dinners to the masses a year later, no one predicted that nightly family dinners would become a thing of the past.

Gone are regular human interaction, conversation, and debate. Maybe this is why the arts of conversation and sane debate are lost.

If a meal without technology feels like a “last meal,” you may have a problem.

When you say, “You do it, too!”

A favorite argument of tech addicts is, “You do it, too!”

This is called infraction equivalence. While it may be true that the accuser is also the accused, the opposite is likely true. It’s easy for us to see the bad behavior in others and not in ourselves.

John 8675309 says, “First remove the computer out of your own eye, then you can see clearly to remove the cell phone out of your brother’s eye.”

When you look at your phone before you look at your partner in the morning.

If you must satiate your tech fix before your caffeine fix, you may want to rethink your relation with information. A lot can happen in the world when you’re “lights-out,” but it’s not important enough to rob you of the few remaining intimate or quiet hours of your day.

When you call in sick because 15 seconds isn’t long enough to make better decisions.

Binge watching got even easier when streaming services began automatically starting the next episode of my favorite shows. Before I know it, it’ll be hours past my bedtime before I say it’s time for bed.

If you justify playing hooky from work the next day because the TV makes bad decisions for you, it’s time to disconnect and make adult decisions on your own.

When it doesn’t happen if you don’t post it.

The Information Age technically didn’t start until about 1990. The TMI Age started in 2004 with Facebook, followed then by Snapchat, Instagram and too many social networks for any sane person to keep up with.

If you can’t do or think something without posting it online, you could be part of the problem. Do yourself (and the world) a favor and just live some experiences and keep some thoughts to yourself.

When you haven’t talked to your friend in months, but you know everything about them.

Technology is bringing us both closer together and farther apart. If you know every detail of your friend’s life, but haven’t talked with or been with them in years, you’re missing out on a major part of the human experience. You know, those human-to-human experiences.

Call your friend instead of texting. Spend time with your friend face-to-face rather than over Facetime.

When you can’t go a day without taking a picture.

There was a time when every aspect of our lives wasn’t photographed and the world existed just fine. In fact, pictures were novelties and expensive. If you can’t live your life without looking through a lens, you’re missing what exists in the periphery.

We benefit more from being in the moment than merely photographing it.

When you miss bills, but don’t miss video game releases.

When technology becomes more important than your responsibilities, you may have a problem. If you know the release dates of your favorite game better than your children’s birthdays, or if you can list the name of reality stars but not our presidents, it’s time to put the joystick down.

Virtual reality is fun, but you know what’s also fun? Reality.

When you ask your partner to cut back on necessities, but you can’t cut back on NFL Ticket or Amazon Prime.

The above was about giving up responsibilities for the sake of technology. When you migrate from giving up responsibilities to giving up necessities, you’ve reached a whole new level of tech addiction. This is exacerbated when you ask others to sacrifice and don’t make equitable sacrifices for yourself.

Successful people do more of what adds value to their lives and less of what doesn’t. Technology does add value when used appropriately. But it can also devalue and ruin our lives if we let it take over.

Let technology be the tool rather than you.

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You never know what’s happening next in our changing economy. Be prepared for anything that happens with your job. Read More...

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John Schneider

If you don’t have a Plan B, an alternative, in case your job moves overseas you’re putting yourself in a precarious position that could hurt you for years.

That’s a strong statement, but when it comes to your family’s financial and emotional security, we must be strong. Anyone who’s lost a job or been at risk of losing a job knows the toll it can take.

The risk: your job may not be safe.

With an ever-growing global economy and the increase in robotics and automation, jobs are no longer the secure and life-long guarantees from which our grandfathers benefited. Our jobs are not even as secure as what our fathers had.

As with most things in life, a backup plan helps. You have health and life insurance in case anything goes wrong.

Prospective college students apply to multiple colleges in case they’re rejected from their school of choice.

It’s for the same reason that it’s important to know what you’ll do should your job be shipped overseas.

Here’s how to start preparing yourself just in case your job moves overseas:

Build an emergency savings account.

First and foremost, have an emergency savings account. This is important not only because of the risk of losing your job, but for many other reasons.

An emergency savings account provides added cushion if you experience health issues and high insurance deductibles. If you’re a homeowner or car owner, it provides you extra protection if there’s an accident. Hot water heaters only breakdown in winters. Be prepared for that little bit of Murphy’s Law.

Open an account at a bank or credit union that has no bells or whistles. Decline debit card and check-writing features. Make it as hard to access this account as possible. This way you’ll be less inclined to access this money when a fake emergency, such as your TV going out, presents itself.

Arrange for a direct deposit from your employer or a one-way, regular electronic funds transfer (EFT) from your primary savings or checking account into this new account.

(Editor’s note from Miranda: I actually use a taxable account for my long-term savings. You can learn about my tiered strategy for emergency savings, which includes a traditional savings account and my investment account, by listening to our podcast episode on emergency funds.)

Once you save more than $400 in this account, you’ll be better than 47% of Americans.

Don’t stop at $400, though. Save three to six months’ worth of living expenses. If you’re unemployed for three to six months, you’ll appreciate this savings. If you never use it, at least you have a sense of financial security that many Americans lack.

Create a list of employers.

Create a list of employers within the distance you’re willing to drive every day. Make sure these employers offer jobs for which you qualify. This won’t guarantee you a job immediately, but it will reduce your search time. If a lot of people at your company lose their jobs at the same time, you need to know exactly where to go before everyone else starts hunting for work.

Gain more skills.

Learn one or two new skills that can be applied to your job each year. This is a good practice whether you’re at risk of losing your job or not. Learning more and more new skills will make you more and more marketable and available for upward mobility.

Many employers pay a certain amount of money each year to each employee to learn new skills. If you’re not sure if your employer offers this, contact your manager or human resource department. If you’re lucky, it’ll only cost you your time to increase your skills, your value, and your job security.

Sites such as Udemy and Coursera, offer advanced education for a fraction of the cost of college courses. This is great whether your newly-acquired education is being funded on your dime or your company’s dime.

All these courses can be taken on a computer from almost anywhere in the world.

Always be connecting (ABC).

There’s an acronym sales people use, ABC, which stands for Always Be Closing. The idea is that if you’re always closing sales, you’re making money.

This same strategy can be applied to maintaining or improving job prospects. The more people who know you and what you do for a living, the more people you help with their jobs and careers, the more people who will be your advocate if you’re in need of a job or career advancement.

Networking is an important skill to develop.

Link up to LinkedIn.

If you’re in the workforce or want to be in the workforce, you need to be on, and engaged with, LinkedIn. Ours is a virtual world and an online presence matters. Whether for your business or yourself, whether you’re employed or want to be employed, the number and value of professional connections that can be made on LinkedIn knows no comparison.

Use your company job board.

If your job moves overseas but your company doesn’t, search your current company’s job board to see what jobs are currently open or, better yet, who you know within your company that is hiring.

People like familiarity. If someone already knows or likes you and is hiring, they’re more inclined to hire you than they are a stranger. This may give you a leg up even if you’re not the most ideal candidate for the job.

Start your side-hustle.

I gush over our new gig economy because my entire business is predicated on it. I also think it’s important to have multiple streams of income, which the gig economy has made easier to achieve.

All that’s needed is a tablet, a website, or web hosting platform, and some social media accounts. Invest a few hundred dollars in recording equipment and basic editing skills learned from YouTube or other podcasts. The right person can create a successful blog or podcast themselves.

Blogs and podcasts can be monetized with affiliate marketing and sponsorships that can provide a stream or multiple streams of income.

Today’s job market is more competitive than ever, and it’s ever-changing. Many of these recommendations should be started today — before your job moves overseas. The more proactive you are, the better you’ll survive employment and unemployment.

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Do you really need another drink? No. No you do not. Read More...

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John Schneider

One cannot deny that a good spirit uplifts the spirit. As the saying goes, “alcohol doesn’t solve problems, but neither does milk.”

Sometimes a good drink feels good or makes the good great.

It takes the balancing skills of a cocktail server to enjoy just a few drinks, though.

One’s never enough. Two or three are perfect.

After two drinks or three drinks, though, your smartest brain cells go full-Kanye. By morning, you’re bound to have done or said something you regret.

Another saying goes, “Hindsight is 20/20.” As I have lots of hindsight, let me show you the way as we determine how many drinks is too many.

You’ve had enough to drink when you think texting your ex is a good idea.

Even if you can text an intelligible sentence, there’s likely nothing you will text an ex with the loose tongue of the turnt and burnt that will improve relations with your former relation.

You’ve had enough to drink when you forget what year it is and you think calling your ex is a good idea.

The only person who ever benefited from calling an ex is Adele.

You are not Adele.

Alas, none of us can be Adele. It’s a harsh reality we all must deal with – that and that contacting an ex is rarely a good idea.

You’ve had enough to drink when you think “calling out” your friend is a good idea.

How many drinks is enough? Well, what are you about to say to your friend?

An alcohol-inspired war between friends is never fun unless you’re Canada and Denmark.

It’s never a good idea to have a few drinks and then “get real” with your BFF. If this emotion builds inside you after kicking back a few, there are clearly issues to address. The further away from your last drink, the better you address those issues.

You’ve had enough to drink when it takes you three days to recover.

While your tolerance to alcohol may not change as you age, your tolerance for drinking does. Sorry, friends, a fatty liver can only withstand so much.

As you age, hangovers hang longer and longer, making it harder and harder to adult. If you notice a pattern of nighttime partying thwarting daytime adulting, you need to ask yourself how many drinks you should really be having — and maybe cut back.

You’ve had enough to drink when going to Denny’s sounds “awesome.”

If you’ve had enough drinks to think that going to Denny’s belongs on the ongoing list of 1,000 awesome things, you’ve had enough.

Unless you’re going to a Chinese restaurant, if you start heading toward a restaurant with pictures on the menu, start heading home.

You’ve had enough to drink when Taco Bell sounds like a healthy alternative to Denny’s.

Pictures on a menu notwithstanding, if you think a 7-Layer Burrito sounds like a healthy alternative to a Denny’s Triple Stack, you’ve had enough.

If you’re that hungry, go home, eat whole wheat bread with honey, down two aspirin and a pint of water and go to bed.

You’ve had enough to drink when you think a 2 a.m. visit to the ATM is a good idea.

As Chris Rock so wisely opined, “There’s never a good reason to be at an ATM at two in the morning!”

No matter how good your conceived plan that justifies an early morning ATM-stop, you’ve had too much.

Keep driving until you get home. Do not pass go and do not collect $200.

You’ve had enough to drink when you need a “kick stand.”

How many drinks is too many? When you start approaching it from the other end. Do you need a “pick-me-up” to put yourself down? Like adding letters to math, one problem doesn’t make the other easier.

You’ve had enough to drink when you’re the last one standing.

Being the last one standing is often a reasonable goal. Such is victory in war or soccer or family dinners. When you’re the last one at the bar or party and you’re still slinging a few back, you’ve had enough.

You’ve had enough to drink when you start reenacting scenes from Jackass.

Drinking causes the loss of cognitive reasoning. When it seems reasonable to perform stupid human tricks, it’s reasonable to think that you’ve had enough to drink.

You’ve had enough to drink when the street looks like a comfortable place to lie down.

It’s a law of physics that the more you drink the lower your center of gravity. If your center of gravity gets so low that it’s physically impossible to not lie on the ground, bar booth, or your Uber driver’s back seat, you’ve had too much to drink.

You’ve had enough to drink when you steal random street signs or event decorations.

If, in the morning, you wake and there’s a street sign waiting for a spot on your wall, or if there’s a life-size Samuel Adams sitting in your living room, you had too much to drink last night. It’s time to re-evaluate your life choices — and how many drinks is enough.

You’ve had enough to drink when your dance moves include moves you typically wouldn’t even do with the most intimate partner.

If you think you’re reinterpreting Dirty Dancing or twerking with strangers, you’ve had too much to drink. If going to bed isn’t an option, at least go sit in the corner, baby.

You’ve had enough to drink when you become richer the more you drink.

Everyone likes to be the life of the party and the easiest way to become the life of the party is to pay for the party. If you catch yourself increasingly saying, “This round’s on me!” you’ve had too much to drink.

You’ve had enough to drink when Amazon makes deliveries you don’t remember ordering.

Late night shopping with a bottle of wine and Amazon Prime is fun. And it beats watching reruns of The Gilmore Girls.

But if you start receiving packages you didn’t order and it’s not Christmas, put a breathalyzer on your computer.

You’ve had enough to drink when as a “non-smoker” you smoke.

Do you “only smoke when drinking?” Put the bottoms down when the fags come out.

What do you think? What’s a sure-fire sign that you’ve had too much to drink?

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Stop leeching off everyone around you, playing video games on the couch, and getting your friends to pay for drinks. Get a job. Read More...

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John Schneider

It’s a harsh reality that life is harsh.

Life is many things, but it’s not free nor easy. From what you see on TV, it doesn’t seem like it. But I can tell you from experience that, at some point or another, most of us must buckle down and get a job.

The 2008 housing crisis and subsequent “Great Recession” hasn’t been easy on most of us. Plus, most of us don’t have the same life goals. But the gig economy has opened new doors and opportunities. Besides, it isn’t fair to leech off others.

How do you know when it’s time to grow up and get a job?

When you’re in high school and you want stuff beyond food, clothing and shelter, you should grow up and get a job.

“When I was your age,” we had to get our own job if we wanted more than three square meals, a roof over our heads, and basic clothes. Okay, that’s not entirely true. The truth, however, is that if we wanted anything extra special, such as a car, a phone (attached to a wall), or spending money, most of us had to get a job.

I may sound like an old crank, but there’s nothing like building skills and a work ethic at a young age. Plus, being financially independent relieves you of having to ask for permission to do certain things.

When you leave home, you should grow up and get a job.

For most of us, the first time we’re “on our own” is in college. College isn’t cheap these days. No longer can you put yourself through school in four years with a part-time or even full-time job. Likewise, it’s harder to put yourself or you and a partner through retirement on your own.

Don’t leech mom and dad’s life savings to have a life. Any way you can contribute helps, if only as a good faith effort.

When you’re living with mom and dad only because you need the money, you should grow up and get a job.

There are numerous reasons you might be living with your mom and dad when you’re over the age of 25. If the only reason you’re living with mom and dad after age 25 is because you don’t have a job, you need to get a job.

I’m sure you’ll say you’ve been trying. But have you? Really? Have you also tried creating your own gig in today’s tech-driven economy?

When someone else is paying your bills and you’re old enough to not get irritated when carded, you should grow up and get a job.

When you have a masters degree in being a professional student, you should grow up and get a job.

College was some of the best years of my life. Even back then, there were students on their fifth and six years of undergraduate school.

Some students can’t stop colleging. I know someone who is 40 and has been going to college since high school graduation 22 years ago. He still doesn’t have a degree, nor a full-time job.

This is not acceptable. Go to college. Get a degree. Get a job. That’s how it works. If you’ve been in college longer than a doctor and you’re not a doctor, get a job.

When you’re not working for your dreams and goals, you should grow up and get a job.

If most of your days are spent couch surfing or playing Uncharted, it’s time to get a job. It’s easy to get distracted with the easy, here and now, bright and shiny, but those don’t give us a sense of purpose or pride.

No one ever said, “I won Pokémon!” on their death bed.

When you contribute little or nothing to society, you should grow up and get a job.

We’re put on this earth to give, contribute, and help. If you’re capable and not contributing to even one other person, get a J.O.B.

When you talk big and don’t walk big, you should grow up and get a job.

If you’re over the age of 25, without a job and still “working on the band” or “going to break into show biz soon,” get a job. Don’t stop working towards your dream. Never stop that!

Just stop leeching off others to fund your dreams. They have their own dreams to fund.

When your friends have jobs and you don’t, you should grow up and get a job.

If, suddenly, you look around and have no one to play with, it’s time to get a job. Life isn’t a race, but it’s helpful to sometimes gauge your progress against your peers.

When my partner and I noticed that our peers were getting married, buying houses, and having kids, we realized our never-ending weekend partying wasn’t taking us the direction we wanted to go.

If all your peers have jobs and you don’t, they’re not your peers anymore.

If you can’t hold down a job, you should grow up and get a job… and keep it.

We all go through rough patches.

It’s hard to go straight from school to a job you like and that likes you back. Eventually, we need to keep a job. The year after I graduated college, I had five different jobs in my small hometown. I realized I’d need to move to a bigger city to find a job and salary that was satisfactory. It was scary but necessary.

If you’re constantly between jobs, it’s time to do what it takes to get a job that sticks.

This isn’t a warm and fuzzy article. It’s tough love. The better you are, the better the people around you are, and the better we all are. It’s in everyone’s best interest to for you to level up.

If we all give more value, we all become more valuable.

Now, go get a job.

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Do you love someone IRL, but can’t stand them on Facebook? Here’s how you can deal with the friends you hate on Facebook. Read More...

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John Schneider

There are certain collective experiences that are fun on Facebook like, say, mocking the Golden Globes or arm-chair quarterbacking the Super Bowl. I look forward to those now-annual traditions.

There are other collective experiences like, say, elections, that highlight the worst of Facebook and make me want to close my account.

Gone are the days of virtual strangers poking me and grade school friends begging for help with virtual farms.

I hope we can come to the end of the days of political rants that political ranters think are the mic drop to end all mic drops.

Joseph de Maistre said we get the government we deserve. From my Facebook feed, I see why we have the government we have.

The last presidential election cycle highlighted to me that there are some people I love in real life and Facebook. There are others I love in real life and hate on Facebook. Sadly, Facebook often gives a platform to those who shouldn’t have one.

Hint: If Facebook is your only platform, don’t grandstand.

Elections come and go. Impressions of people, whether in real life or social media, stick around like a cold sore. So, what do you do when you hate your friends on Facebook?

Prioritize friends.

Remember on Friends when Ross prioritized what he liked and didn’t like about Rachel to help him decide if wanted to date her? No one told me life was gonna be this way, but life is not like Friends.

If you’re confused why you see some friend’s posts and not others, it’s because Facebook’s all-seeing eye watches who you engage with and puts their posts in your feed. If there are people you want to see less of or those you want to see more of, like natural selection, Facebook lets you prioritize who you see in your feed.

Choose “Newsfeed Preferences” from the top right dropdown on Facebook when you’re on your desktop. A window will appear with the first option being “Prioritize who to see first.” This will highlight those you want to see and bury the worst offenders when you hate your friends on Facebook.

Facebook only allows for you to prioritize up to 30 friends or pages, so you do need to be a little Hunger Games about it.

Hide friends.

If prioritizing friends seems harsh or your 30 favorite people aren’t drowning out your least favorite people, you can put the latter in the purgatory of Facebook. Hide those friends. This is even easier than prioritizing them.

On either your phone or desktop, if you see a stupid post on Facebook from a friend who says stupid things too much, click the top right of their stupid Facebook post and from the dropdown choose “Hide Post.”

This will let you see fewer posts from that person. You’ll see the occasional post, but they should be few and far between. Hopefully this will help you maintain sanity when you hate your friends on Facebook.

Ignore friends.

Because Facebook’s puppeteers put posts from those with whom you engage at the top of your feed, simply ignore those friends you no longer want to see.

It’s like your mother told you, if someone hurts you, your feelings or your brain, they’ll go away if you ignore them.

And whatever you do, don’t engage. That comment you want to post to enlighten your buddy and all those who have been following the thread?

Don’t. Just don’t.

Unfollow friends.

If none of the above is enough, you can unfollow when you hate your friends on Facebook. Click the top right of their Facebook post either on your desktop or your phone. This time, however, choose “Unfollow.”

This is a bit misleading. By “unfollow”, Facebook means you’ll stop seeing all posts from said friend and still maintain your “friendship.” This way you can still lurk on your notoriously irritating friend’s feed at your convenience.

Unfriend friends.

Now we’re getting serious.

If none of the above works, you can resort to unfriending. For this, you must go back to where it all began. Go to your friend’s Timeline and click the “Friends” button. From the same place where you add friends to a list and list a friend as a close acquaintance, you can unfriend them by selecting “Unfriend.”

Don’t choose this option if you think you’ll want to be friends again with this unfriend. Otherwise, you’ll have to send your unfriend a new friend request with your tail between your legs.

Blocking unfriends.

Like color-blocking, Facebook-blocking must be done thoughtfully and strategically because it could mean life or death. If an unfriend harasses you and you’re brave enough to take such action, click the padlock looking icon at the top right of any Facebook page and choose “How do I stop someone from bothering me?” From there, enter the name or email address of the person you wish to block and then click “Block.” Like a witch to water, they’ll be gone.

Like any tool, Facebook can be abused. Also, like any tool, you can choose how you want to use it. Don’t give Facebook and your friend’s behaviors on Facebook more authority than they deserve.

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Are you having a career crisis already? That’s probably because you’re on the wrong career path. Here’s how to connect with yourself — and the career you’re meant to have. Read More...

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John Schneider

It’s cruel problem to have today: how can an 18-year-old (or 25-year-old) decide what they want to do for the rest of their life?

Anyone who’s like people that I know in their 30s and 40s want a career path change. And it’s not uncommon for someone in their 20s to job hop.

That moment when I changed my mind about my career.

I was a C-student without any direction in high school. When I graduated, the advice was to go to college even if you didn’t know what you wanted to do. Undecided major? You’ve got two years general education to figure it out.

By my junior year in college I was a C-student in Exercise Physiology and an Honors Student in beer pong. I graduated and found a career in retail, which gave me a nice salary for 70 to 90 hours of work each week.

It wasn’t until I was 27 and found a home in financial services that I started to feel like I had a future and that I was on the right career path. Recently, I left my career in finance to grow my own business with my life and business partner. (But it’s still related to finance.)

I understand what it’s like to have to decide what you want to do with your life — only to realize later that you want to do something else. Lucky for me, what I’m doing now is a version of what I was doing before. But it was still stressful trying to decide what I wanted to do in my 20s and then leaving comfort and security in my 40s.

Having floundered to find a career and then versioning to a new one, I have thoughts on how best to choose what you want to do for the next five to 10 years of your life.

Meditate.

My first piece of advice for everything is to meditate. Yes, it’s become so common it’s almost passé. The truth is that in this crazy, over-connected, over-worked, and over-scheduled world, it’s hard to get in touch with our inner-selves. I can’t beat Miranda’s take on the benefits of meditation; I’ll just add that in addition to managing stress and relaxing, meditation gives us an opportunity to hear our inner-voice. Many of today’s most successful people credit instincts or gut-feelings for their successes.

Meditate on the idea of your career path. You might be surprised at rises to the top of your mind.

Check your feelings.

A supplement to mediation that my husband and I do most mornings is what we call “I Feelz.” We each take turns expressing three of our current feelings.

Before we agreed that I would leave my secure, retirement-funding, benefit-providing, regular paying job, I wanted to be sure that we were both 100% on board and prepared for this life change. We started this exercise then and continue it to this day.

This isn’t always as easy as it seems. We dig deep sometimes to tap into our feelings. Once our feelings are expressed, we can address them accordingly. Likewise, it keeps both our business and personal relationship transparent.

To use this exercise to choose or change your career path, take time every day express to someone else or write down emotions you’re feeling about your current state or prospective future. Be specific, rather than general. Rather than saying, “I feel good,” say “I feel good because of X.”

Use these feelings to inspire your career decisions.

Journal.

There are as many ways to journal as there are to meditate. An applicable journaling style that I practiced before I took my leap from W-2 to 1099 is like the advice of nutritionists for those who struggle to lose weight.

Keep your journal with you throughout the day. I used the Notes app on my phone. As they happen, write down the things to which you respond positively and those to which you respond negatively.

If you see a person on TV or IRL with a job or career you think you might like, write it down. As thoughts on jobs and careers come to you, activities you like and don’t like, write them in the appropriate place and designate them as positive or negative.

Over time, you’ll notice patterns. These patterns can guide you towards what you like doing and are good at doing.

Consider the career path less traveled.

Most high school students go straight to college. Most adults looking for a mid-life career change get an MBA or other advanced degree. I support these decisions for those who have considered all options, including less expensive and less time-consuming options:

Consider a paid-apprenticeship to earn as you learn valuable skills. This is a great way to offset education costs and increase your chances of having a job when you’ve completed your learning.
Consider certifications. Certifications cost a lot less than degrees and take much less time to earn. This is especially helpful if you’re flush with neither cash nor time. A friend of ours recently went from being a tax attorney to becoming a Certified Financial Planner. At about $4,200, this saved him about 12 months and $55,800 over getting an advanced degree.

Finally, if going back to school is inevitable, consider strategically taking courses at a community college. With the escalating costs of college, more employers understand the value of associate degrees and taking a few courses to enhance one’s skills.

Coupling these exercises with the standard career path seeking advice of talking with mentors, job shadowing, taking career tests, and doing informational interviews can help you get in touch with your true self.

As we all eventually learn, job titles and salaries provide temporary satisfaction. It’s fulfilling our highest purpose and being our truest selves that offer real meaning in life.

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Tired of feeling down and out? You can boost your mood almost instantly with a little creative fun. Read More...

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John Schneider

What an amazing time to be alive.

Modern conveniences are more convenient than ever. Last night I FaceTimed with a friend in Australia. That’s two-way video communication with someone on the other side of Earth at minimal expense. That’s some James Bond stuff, right there.

Radio sucks megahertz, but we have access to more diverse music than ever. I can’t tell you the last time I watched TV per TV Guide’s schedule.

This is the age of the gig-entrepreneur. There’s never been a better or easier time to start a business online. The brave souls willing to do so are earning the autonomy to live and work from anywhere in the world whenever they want. W-2 employers are still hesitant to let more employees work remotely. That’s some Fred Flintstone stuff, right there.

Even with all our technology and conveniences, life is still hectic and erratic. It can feel impersonal. It’s easy to feel disconnected and dreary. Here are 10 non-traditional ways to boost your mood when you’re feeling down:

1. Dance naked.

It’s scientifically proven that one can’t dance naked and not feel better when their rump-revealing rhumba is over. Turn on your favorite music, the cheesier the better, and revel in your disrobed disco.

2. Lay in the grass and stare at the sky.

There’s nothing better than the great outdoors to lift one’s spirits when feeling down and out. The best part about this mood enhancer is that it can be done any time of day, nearly any time of year. I have yet to determine which is better, taking in a clear-blue day, seeing shapes in clouds or staring at our intergalactic friends across the cosmos.

3. Do a cartwheel or somersault.

When we’re younger, cartwheels and somersaults are a part of normal life:

“What did you do today Little Johnny?”

“Oh, I played on the jungle gym, sniffed markers and did somersaults until it was time to nap.”

That’s a rational conversation to a seven-year-old. We inevitably grow up and grow out of such carefree fun. We shouldn’t. Cartwheels and somersaults can boost your mood.

Wherever you are, regardless of what you’re doing, bust out a cartwheel or somersault and see if it doesn’t put a smile on your face and the faces of the people around you. If someone frowns on your immature behavior, stick your tongue out at them. It’s the only response.

4. Buy flowers.

There was a time when my husband and I were paying off credit card debt. We wanted to pay off this debt fast and put our bad decisions behind us. We cut out most of our discretionary spending. One unnecessary item we didn’t cut out was the regular purchase of fresh-cut flowers.

Even as I write this piece, there’s a vase of fresh cut sunflowers, my personal favorite, on the other side of my laptop. How much does it cost to make me happy for a week? $4.

5. Guiltlessly eat ice cream.

It’s impossible to feel down when eating ice cream on a cone. It’s silly and that’s why it’s awesome. Plus, it’s one of life’s greatest distractions.

If you get two flavors, which goes on the bottom and which goes on the top? Do you get a waffle cone, waffle cone dipped in chocolate, sugar cone, or go old-school with a cake cone? Once your prize is in hand, what’s your strategy to ensure your ice cream doesn’t end up on your hand or, worse, the floor?

Do you give instructions to the inevitable guest taster? How do you get your ice cream cone back in order after the guest taster licks your ice cream cone wrong?

Suddenly, that business meeting is a lot less important.

6. Don’t get out of bed.

I’m of the camp who wakes up at 4:30 am, drinks warm lemon water, meditates for 15 to 20 minutes, exercises, and starts working before most people leave their houses. However, a handful of times a year I hold court in my bed. It’s oh so enjoyable.

Having my coffee or tea in bed while I’m reading a book is as good as reading a book on the beach. Watching 80s reruns provides me warmth and happiness every time I take a bedroom vacation.

You might be surprised at how simply playing hooky from normal life can boost your mood.

7. Bike a ride to nowhere.

Remember your carefree days of riding your bike around the neighborhood? Me, too.

This is why my husband and I recently bought single speed bikes. Being on our bikes gives a different perspective on things we pass every day in our car. Biking is great exercise that exposes us to fresh air and sun, all of which improves our sourest of moods.

8. Take one step to get your dream job.

Are you doing what you love? Even if you’re doing what you went to school for, is the career choice you made at age 18 or 20 the right choice for you today?

As we get older, we create false limitations. We have all sorts of excuses for why we can’t change careers or start a new adventure. Often these limitations focus on the amount of work required to change careers or start a business.

How do you eat an elephant*? One bite at a time.

Take one, small step toward your dream job, whether you follow up on it or not. Reach out to an influencer on LinkedIn. Update your resume. Join an industry-specific group on Facebook.

Here’s a hint. Most corporate email addresses follow the “FirstName.LastName@CompanyName.com” format. Take a chance and ask rock stars in your dream industry for informational interviews.

One small step toward a goal provides a sense of accomplishment and hope that lifts any spirit.

* Don’t eat elephants.

9. Memorize a stand-up comedy sketch.

YouTube is as good as the Library of Congress when it comes to classic comedy sketches. Memorize a bit from such comedy gods as Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Gilda Radnor, or anyone who makes you laugh. This will make you the funniest person at the next office party and it’ll crack you up while you’re learning it.

1o. Have sex.

Whether alone or with a partner, put your phone down and get busy. Sex releases the mood-enhancer oxytocin. This is scientifically proven to make you feel better.

Whether solo or with a partner, sex before bed makes you sleep better and might make you feel happier and better rested the next day.

You don’t have to break the bank to boost your mood.

Most of my mood-enhancing recommendations are free or cheap and accessible to most anyone. Don’t hold back. When you’re done dancing naked in your bedroom, somersault your way into sex in bed with an ice cream nightcap.

When you’re done dancing naked in your bedroom, somersault your way into sex in bed with an ice cream nightcap.

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We think homeownership is a big part of the American Dream. But is it? REALLY? Read More...

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John Schneider

America and the world were different in 1931 when James Truslow Adams first scrawled his vision of “the American Dream.”

Indeed, Adams’ sentiment was more idealistic than materialistic. It wasn’t until post-WWII that the American Dream of a rich life full of opportunities included a house.

To be fair, Gerald O’Hara did tell Scarlet that “land is the only thing in the world worth workin’ for, worth fightin’ for, worth dyin’ for, because it’s the only thing that lasts.” It’s easy to see how the beliefs of Adams and O’Hara morphed into a McMansion-bubble-bursting-cog of America’s “too big to fail” economy.

Today we travel more, marry later, have fewer kids, and most of us have 10 jobs even before we turned 40. When our phones broke free from walls, we too broke free. Homeownership peaked in 2004 and is now at its lowest point in 21 years.

If you’re wondering if homeownership is right for you right now, here are nine reasons to rent instead of buy — at least for a little longer.

1. You’re too lazy to pick up a finger to help.

If you’d rather chase Pokemon in your back yard than stop mice from entering your house, or if you’d rather watch House than maintain one, you may be too lazy to be a homeowner.

Houses aren’t reliable. If words like “broke,” “leak,” “patch,” “paint,” “fix,” and “repair” seem less like reasons to roll up your sleeves and more like reasons to kick up your feet, owning a home may not be right for you.

2. You couldn’t help even if you wanted to.

If it’s not possible for you to help because it’s not possible for you to help, homeownership will be an expensive proposition for you. When the faucet leaks and you’re not the guy, or when it’s time to winterize your house and you’re not the gal, you will have to hire someone to take care of business.

As a renter, though, you simply call your landlord to fix the home you don’t own.

3. You’re not sure which direction your life (or relationship, or career) will go.

Even if you aren’t lazy or useless, but you’re surer of who John Snow’s parents are then where you’ll be in one year (let alone five), you might want to rent instead of buy.

Buying a home is expensive. Your agent, the seller’s agent, and Uncle Sam all want their cut. There are fees for home inspection, appraisal, title changes, lender’s origination, and more.

The best means to counterbalance this tab of homeownership is time. But what you if you don’t have the time? Homeownership is a commitment, and it helps to have an idea of where you’re going before you make that commitment.

4. You’re sure as hell things won’t stay the same.

You know those friends who were so much fun and then bought an overpriced home in a cul-de-sac overrun by offspring? You know why they don’t go out anymore? It’s because they’re house poor.

Not only are houses expensive to buy, but they’re also expensive to manicure and maintain. This is why many homeowners become homebodies. If the thought of spending all your free time in your four walls makes you funny, owning a home will be more drama than comedy.

5. You’re contemplating a change in family situation.

If you and your partner might become the human equivalent of Matryoshka dolls, any home purchase made today could be too small or too large tomorrow.

It’s easy to right-size for your family with rental properties. It’s not that same with purchased properties. Your changing size could mean you need more room to grow sooner than you thought. When the size of your family is firmly settled, it’s time to purchase a permanent settlement.

6. You’re ferociously independent.

If homeownership even remotely feels like living on Wisteria Lane in “little boxes made of ticky-tacky,” surrounded by Joanna Eberhart characters, then homeownership may not be right for you.

Unlike college, you can’t move away from co-dependent neighbors every semester. Even when you do escape, someone needs to take care of your house while you’re gone.

Don’t want to be tied down? Buying a home will tie you down in a way renting never could.

7. You’re too poor.

Notwithstanding the cost of maintenance, most people shouldn’t buy a house with anything less than 20% down on a fixed rate mortgage.

Sure, there are flexible loans, but they weren’t so flexible in 2008 when balloon payments contributed to problems for many homeowners. You can buy a home with less than 20% down, but with risk-based pricing your lender will likely use will charge you a higher interest rate. You will also have to pay private mortgage insurance.

Don’t forget that discussion we already had about being house poor. You don’t want your home to suck up all your disposable income. Run the numbers. It still might be better for you to rent instead of buy.

Run the numbers. It still might be better for you to rent instead of buy.Click To Tweet

8. You aren’t detail oriented.

When was the last time someone you knew bought a nest and didn’t remodel it with the conviction of a 1980s teenager BeDazzling a jacket for her first Madonna concert? The problem with home décor bought at Michael’s is that it looks like it.

Home décor not bought at Michaels increases costs too quickly for the less detail-oriented to care. HGTV-inspired remodels increase home values, but not enough to see a 100% return.

9. Finally, homes suck.

That is, the cost of a home sucks all the money out of your bank account. While homes can be good investments, for the average household they bogart most or all investment options. Investment diversification is integral to investment success.

Asset classes don’t move in tandem and 2008 proved Carlton Sheets wrong. Homes do depreciate. Consider your whole investment portfolio and don’t put your potential home purchase in an investment silo.

I’m a homeowner. But for three of the nine reasons above I wish I wasn’t. Because my husband and I perfectly timed buying our condo just before the market crashed in 2008, it’s been “amusing.”

If you’re considering buying your own home, it’s a long-term investment and, like Bon Jovi songs, not always a bed of roses.