You work too much for too little pay. It’s time to ask for a raise. But you have to do it right.

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You work hard. You provide value to the company. But you’re still being paid like a noob. How do you ask for a raise?

Because it’s not going to just show up for most of us. Most of us have to ask for more money. It’s never fun, but it needs to be done.

If you want more from work — whether it’s a raise or a promotion — you need to prove your value and then take your evidence to the boss. In this episode, we’ll talk about how you can do that.

Concepts

  • How to recognize that you actually deserve a raise or promotion.
  • Tips for figuring out how to quantify your contributions.
  • Reasons it’s time to ask for a raise.
  • When to approach your boss about a raise.
  • What you need to know about the process of asking for a raise or promotion.
  • How to make a presentation to your boss.
  • Suggestions for what to include in your presentation.
  • How to focus on your value to the company.
  • Tips for compromising on the amount of the raise.

Our “do nows” this week are all about reflecting on the reality of your situation and paying attention to the value you offer. We also take a look at how you can assess when the best time to ask for a raise is.

A listener also has a question about how much work has been piled on. We talk about what you can do if your boss isn’t willing to acknowledge your work, even though it’s the right thing to do.

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Resources

When to approach your boss to ask for raise
Are you ready for a raise?

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Ready to take things to the next level with your S.O.? Not until you have the money talk. You need to make this happen.

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Any relationship requires work. There are plenty of situations that can stress you out. But nothing quite matches the stress that comes when you talk money with your boo.

Are you ready for that talk? Do you know what you will say? And how can you make it less stressful and contentious for everyone involved?

Concepts

  • How we handle money reflects our values.
  • Why it’s so hard to talk money with your S.O.
  • The ways money goes beyond just spender vs. saver.
  • Different styles of money management.
  • How to pinpoint what matters most to you.
  • Tips for setting the tone before you talk money with bae.
  • Suggestions for money topics you should be discussing.
  • When it’s time to start talking about money.
  • How to gauge your partner’s money values before you talk money.
  • The importance of setting shared financial goals.
  • Tips for setting time to talk money so that you are both more likely to be open and willing.
  • What to do if things get too heated during the discussion

Our “do nows” this week focus on actually getting the money talk taken care of. Figure out your own money values, review your financial situation, and schedule a time to talk money with your S.O.

This week’s listener question deals with someone not really ready to trust bae with joint accounts. We look at the pros and cons of granting your S.O. access to your money.

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Resources

How money stress impacts relationships

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Why is it so hard to do the right thing? We all get stuck wondering how we screwed up so bad. Break the cycle.

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Are you scared that you’ll make the wrong decisions and screw up your life?

You’re not alone. Many of us wish we could make better choices. But how do you go about making sure you will do the right thing? And how do you feel better about your decisions?

It’s important to figure out how to own your choices. Otherwise, you run the risk of never deciding anything — and never taking charge of your life.

Concepts

  • How do we make decisions?
  • The problems with human memory.
  • How decision fatigue affects your ability to make better choices.
  • The pros and cons of jumping to conclusions.
  • Why making a pros and cons list helps so little.
  • How to tell the difference between the little decisions and the really important stuff.
  • Tips for creating a process for making better choices.
  • How to pinpoint your own ethics and values.
  • Strategies for analyzing potential outcomes.
  • The importance of being realistic as you work toward better decision-making.

Use the DO NOWS from this week to help you test out the decision-making process. Write down a major decision and choose a technique that you can use to follow to its conclusion.

You can also test out how to make faster decisions, especially with small things that might not matter as much.

Don’t forget about the listener question. This week we look at what you can do if you are miserable in your current situation, but you aren’t sure how to move forward.

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Resources

Information overload and making decisions
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Blink

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Dream of life without money worries? It’s possible. But it probably means more work than you expect.

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Have you heard about financial independence? Probably. It’s a buzzword right now.

It’s not always to nail down exactly what it means, though. Financial independence means different things to different people.

In this episode, we talk about what it means to break your chains and get on the path toward money freedom — whatever that looks like to you.

Concepts

  • What does financial independence mean, really?
  • Can creating a situation where you enjoy life without too much worry be the same thing, even if you still work?
  • Do you need to be totally debt-free to be financially independent?
  • Why is financial independence so appealing?
  • Reasons money freedom matters so much.
  • A realistic look at what it takes to actually reach financial independence.
  • The need for planning when you want money freedom.
  • Tips for saving up for the future.
  • Financial realities and the hard work necessary.

This week’s “do nows” are all about figuring out what you want your money to do for you. Instead of viewing money as the end result, it’s about changing things around to use money as a tool to help you get what you want from life.

On top of that, it includes an exercise in self-reflection. Be brutally honest about what’s holding you back from financial independence.

Our listener question is all about the worth we assign people based on their net worth. You don’t need a big pile of money to feel good about your life and your finances. Here’s how to stop treating money like a competition and feel secure in your own choices.

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Resources

Why is it so hard to say no?

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Don’t let your work from home dream turn into a nightmare. Set up your home office space following sound principles and you’ll be much happier.

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An increasing number of people work from home today.

Even if you don’t own a home business, telecommuting is something that many companies are willing to allow — at least some of the time.

Whether you have a side gig, your own business, or you just work from home on occasion, a home office is a good investment in your career sanity.

Here’s how to set it all up.

Concepts

  • A look at why it’s so popular to work from home right now.
  • Some of the “must haves” when it comes to a home office.
  • How to decide on the right computer and software for your work from home needs.
  • The difference between running your own business and working from home for someone else.
  • Why you need a dedicated home office if you work from home regularly.
  • Tips for cutting down on distractions when you work from home.
  • How to get into “work mode” with your home office.
  • The reality that sometimes you need to get out of the home office and work elsewhere.

This week’s DO NOWS focus on getting your home office-ready. Make sure you look around your home to identify potential spots for a home office. Also, you need to create a realistic list of the items you need to create your work from home reality.

Our listener question touches on a difficult issue for many people who work from home: what to do when the kids are too distracting? It’s not always a popular solution, but the reality is that sometimes you need to hire child care — even when you work from home.

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To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on iTunes. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Resources

Like what you’ve heard?

Join other #adults who receive free weekly updates.


For a limited time you’ll receive our new book, The Best Bank Accounts for Adults, when you sign up!

It’s hard to say no, but sometimes you have to for reasons. You’re still a good person.

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How many times have you said yes to someone — and then wished you hadn’t?

We all want to say no when we feel overwhelmed, or really don’t want to do something. And yet, we find ourselves saying yes.

It’s even harder to say no when you are facing a request from a loved one.

Sometimes, you need to say no to protect your sanity, your health, and your time. If you have an addiction to saying yes, it’s time to break it. We’ll show you how.

Concepts

  • Some of the reasons it’s difficult to say no to loved ones.
  • Concerns about how you look to others, and why that makes it hard to say no.
  • The problems with saying yes just to avoid conflict.
  • Ways that saying yes all the time can actually hurt you — and your relationships.
  • The important role saying no has in self-care.
  • Dealing with saying no to your kids and being a parent.
  • Practical tips for how to say no to loved ones without offending them.
  • Strategies for buying yourself time and space to say no.

This week’s “do nows” focus on how you can get a better handle on your situation. We offer tips on how to say no, and strategies for practicing saying no. You can make an effort this week to stop saying yes to everything. Stick with your priorities and say no to things that will just add stress to your life.

Our listener question deals with the thorny issue of making accommodations in a relationship. Should you say yes to avoid being dumped? Or is it time to make serious changes to your relationship so you aren’t being steamrolled all the time?

Become a Friend of Adulting

To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on iTunes. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Resources

Why is it so hard to say no?

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Join other #adults who receive free weekly updates.


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Fake news is so enticing that real facts often have no impact on other people’s beliefs.

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Fake news seems to be the latest buzzword.

Every time you turn around, someone is accused of peddling fake news.

The ramp-up in inaccurate stories during the last election is well-documented, and we continue to see the fallout.

On top of that, it seems like no one actually cares about facts. It’s all “feelings” and “opinions” and, as Stephen Colbert puts it, “truthiness.”

How can you tell the difference? And does it even matter anymore?

Concepts

  • Facts DO matter. We shouldn’t be making big policy decisions based on lies.
  • The difference between fake news and biased perspective.
  • The problems with using facts in your argument.
  • Unfortunate truth that fear and other emotions often matter than truth.
  • The role of social sharing in the spreading of lies and fake news.
  • How the internet allows us to build an alternate reality.
  • Signs that you are looking at fake news.
  • A handy guide for figuring out which news sources are reliable, no matter which side you’re on.
  • How fear-based news can actually change your brain.
  • The idea of demanding integrity from our leaders.
  • An examination of how things are different right now.

This week’s “do nows” are all about checking your biases. You need to engage in self-reflection and be brutally honest with yourself. Your news sources might not be the best sources of information.

Also, we also encourage reflection about the types of things you share on social media. Finally, don’t forget to get information from sources you don’t agree with. It can be uncomfortable to challenge your worldview, but it’s important.

Our listener question looks at what to do if you find your parents are being influenced by fake news.

Become a Friend of Adulting

To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on iTunes. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Resources

Did fake news really influence the election?
How fake news is produced in Macedonia
Man opens fire at pizza restaurant
Donald Trump accuses CNN of being fake news
How facts don’t matter to people
How people build their own alternate realities

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