You can learn many lessons about being an adult from a teenager. This teen may even be a better adult than you are. Read More...

What makes an adult?

According to society and government, once you reach age 18 you are considered an adult. You can make your own decisions and sign legal documents. But just because you are a certain age, does that make you an adult?

While you might technically be an adult, the actual act of adulting is a little bit harder. Functioning as a successful adult requires more than just turning 18.

In fact, as I look at some of the things so-called adults do (or don’t do), I realize that there is a lot that 21-year-olds can learn from my 13-year-old son. Hell, there are probably some days that my son is actually a better adult than I am.

Here are some of the life skills that my 13-year-old excels at, and will help him when he becomes an actual adult.

Time management.

If you want to be a better adult and more successful in life, time management is key. We all have days when we don’t want to get something done wrong we have a hard time getting a handle on the clock. The idea, though, is to do our best to plan ahead so that we can manage our obligations.

A couple weeks ago, my son and I were talking about our after-school day. I reminded him that I had a meeting to go to and that he would be on his own after dinner. He mentioned that he knew that he would need help with his homework and suggested that we tackle the homework first, before he practiced saxophone. Rather then springing the homework on me after I returned from my meeting, he thought ahead to all of what he needed to do that afternoon and took the initiative to make sure he had time for all of his obligations.

Sometimes we just run out of that time and we have to choose between different activities. That’s just life. Adulting is recognizing that sometimes you do have control over your time, and making sure you prioritize what is most important.

Do you have to be told what needs to be done?

My 13-Year-Old Is a Better Adult Than You Are

We only need direction sometimes, especially when we’re learning something new. However, if you want to be a better an adult you need to recognize that sometimes you just need to do what needs to be done without being told.

My son comes home from school and knows he needs to take care of certain things. He has music practice, fencing practice, and homework. I don’t need to tell him to get started on these things; even on days he doesn’t necessarily want to get going, you still getting started even if I’m not home too tell him to do so.

After I broke my wrist my son really stepped up, keeping track of when he needed to start the laundry and paying attention to what time to start dinner. In many cases, he saw would need to be done and went ahead and did it.

Eat healthy meals.

We all like junk food. I’d rather eat cake than make a salad. However, I know that macaroni and cheese for dinner every day and over processed foods aren’t good for me. So I don’t make them very often.

My son is learning how to be a better adult by making better food choices. When he make dinner, he includes a fruit and vegetable in addition to whatever the entrée is. He helps with cooking, and is capable of reading a recipe. Thanks to Blue Apron, it’s possible for him to see you what we plan to have and get step-by-step instructions on making a nutritious dinner.

Track your spending.

Maybe it’s because I write about money, but my son is already learning habits that many 20-somethings I know don’t have down. I recently got him a debit card, and he is very good about tracking his spending.

He also takes the time to think about what he wants to buy with his money. He almost most never makes an impulse purchase because he had a clear idea of what he hopes to use his money for, and the knowledge that if he uses his money on something today he won’t be able to buy something else tomorrow.

He’s also learning to give money to charity and set aside money for the future. He follows the stock market because he is investing in an index fund with his long-term savings money.

Finally, he’s constantly thinking of other ways to make money. He works hard and his 4-H projects so that he can earn ribbon money, and he helps out with administrative duties in my home office. He also has big plans for a YouTube channel and other online ventures. We’ll see if he follows through with any of them.

Obviously my 13-year-old is not ready for many of the responsibilities associated with being an adult. But he’s got a pretty good handle on things.

What do you think makes an adult? Are there some things that you see so-called adults doing that aren’t very adult-like at all? How are you trying to be a better adult?

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Just started a new relationship? Here’s how to tell if it’s already over. Read More...

As humans, we have a tendency to seek out relationships. This is especially true when it comes to romantic relationships. If you’ve just got out of one relationship you might be ready for something new.

Don’t just jump in, though. You don’t want your next relationship to crash and burn. Here are some red flags that might indicate that your next relationship is doomed:

You’re not comfortable with yourself.

If you don’t like yourself, there is a good chance that your next relationship will fail. Even if it doesn’t, it might not be a healthy relationship to be in.

Before you heat things up, make sure that you love yourself. Even though I have been dating a little bit recently, I’m not sure I’m actually ready for a new relationship.

I actually enjoy being alone with myself and getting to know who I am again. Before you embark on a new relationship adventure, Make sure you’re comfortable with yourself and that you like yourself for who you are. When You have those good feelings about yourself, and that confidence, you are more likely to find someone who respects and loves you for who you are.

You play games in a relationship.

Anytime there is game playing involved in a relationship, that’s a red flag. It can be fun to play games and it can make you feel good about your power.

Unfortunately, you make a relationship about power and games and who has the upper hand, there is a good chance that relationship won’t last very long.

Stop worrying so much about when it’s okay to call back and agonizing over how to construct every text. Be real and genuine and stay away from someone who is playing games with you.

You demand proof of love.

Many of us grew up on those princess movies that show the guy engaging in some huge attempts to prove his love. We’ve also seen these kinds of gestures from women trying to show men how much they are in love.

When you demand a proof of love that is extravagant or out of the ordinary, that’s a sure fire sign for a huge fail. There’s nothing wrong was wanting to do something big with your SO, for trying to surprise him or her. But when the relationship becomes more about the stuff and the surprise than it is about the little things that you do together every day, and the little things you love about your partner, that’s a big problem.

You never disagree.

5 Signs Your Next Relationship Will Crash and Burn

There is no way that you will always agree with someone all the time. In fact, if you always agree on everything all the time that’s a pretty good sign that someone isn’t being totally honest.

If you don’t disagree ever, you might find out down the road that you have very different ideas of what you want the relationship to be. Additionally, you might be surprised to discover that your SO has some pretty strong feelings that they never told you about in the interest of avoiding confrontation.

Healthy disagreement and an understanding of how to overcome these disagreements and compromise our parts have a good relationship. If you want to have a relationship that lasts, you need to figure out where your disagreements are, and learn how to work through them in a healthy manner.

You don’t agree on the big stuff.

While it’s true that you’re going to have some disagreements about some things, the really big red flag is if you have disagreements about some of the big core value things that you believe.

It’s one thing to disagree about what movie you want to watch on a Friday night or to have slightly different hobbies. In fact, having some different hobbies and a little bit of alone time can be good for relationship. The trouble comes in when you disagree about major issues and fundamental values.

I already know to avoid any online dating profile that says he is looking for more children. I don’t want more kids, so hooking up with someone who does makes no sense in my situation. Other fundamental differences that can impact your relationship might include how you handle money, your basic feelings of ethics and morality, and maybe even your religion.

Some of these big things can be worked out to compromise. I know plenty of Democrats and Republicans that are married to each other and somehow it works. There’re also plenty of mixed faith relationships that aren’t problematic. (Although this can change when kids come along.)

When you have fundamental disagreements about life and values those are very hard to overcome. If you find yourself realizing that you don’t want the same thing in the long-term, that’s a sure sign that your relationship is going to fizzle out at some point.

Before you start your next relationship, or if you’re in the early stages of a new relationship, double-check the situation. You don’t want to end up crashing and burning is starting to process all over again because you didn’t heed the warning signs.

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