Zina Kumok, Author at Adulting

A healthy relationship isn’t about being together all the time. In fact, your marriage could probably benefit from quality alone time. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

It’s Thursday night.

I’m probably at a bar with some friends playing trivia.

At some point in the night, I’m probably answering this question in some shape or form: “Where’s your husband?”

No one means to be nosy, and it’s not a question that offends me. But it has led me to question why people are so surprised when I’m out and about without my significant other.

Don’t couples spend time apart?

There’s an expectancy when you get married that you are now a package deal. It’s why the cliche of a bachelorette slowly losing all her once-single friends to marriage exists. It’s the way things are.

But is it the way things should be?

Unfortunately these days, codependency is the norm. Maybe that’s always been the case. But in the time I’ve been married, I’ve come to the conclusion that couples focus way too much on being together, and not nearly enough on being apart.

I need more social interaction.

I’m an extrovert — a big one. Want proof? Multiple bosses have told me I spent too much time talking to other coworkers. Whoops.

I love seeing my friends and catching up. I can be on the phone for an hour without realizing it, and I start to go stir-crazy when I don’t get a significant amount of personal interaction.

My husband is an introvert. He doesn’t need as much social time as I do. Actually, when I leave the house he’s often glad to see the back of me. Finally, he gets some alone time.

I have more fun hanging out and he has more fun with the house to himself. Plus, when I do bring him around, I worry that he’s not having a good time or that his social quota is overfilled.

We spend all day together.

My husband, Sam, and I are both self-employed. We work together at home – often in the same room. After we’re done working, we usually watch an episode of a TV show together. We walk the dogs a couple times a day, usually for an hour or so in total.

In other words, we spend most of our day within a few yards of each other.

It’s hard to understand that dynamic unless you work with your spouse. Fostering a healthy work-life balance requires time apart, so I really don’t feel the need to bring him to my weekly trivia meetup when we’ve just spent nine hours together.

Our marriage thrives.

I love my husband, but he isn’t my everything. Too many romantic movies make it seem like all you need to be happy is a good spouse. Reality check: that’s not nearly enough. I need work, friends, and hobbies to feel complete. I don’t want to rely on my husband to complete me, and he feels the same way.

Reality check: that’s not nearly enough. I need work, friends, and hobbies to feel complete. I don’t want to rely on my husband to complete me, and he feels the same way.

I need work, friends, and hobbies to feel complete. I don’t want to rely on my husband to complete me, and he feels the same way.

Turns out, our way is best. A study from the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research found that having enough space in a marriage was more important than a good sex life. Space keeps us sane and balanced so we don’t lash out.

Having time without Sam reaffirms my independence. It clears my head and makes me appreciate the time we spend together more.

It’s not for everyone.

Our dynamic is unique and probably not suited for everyone. Couples who work odd schedules should find more time to spend together, not more reasons to be apart. Couples who have kids or parents to take care of also need more one-on-one time. Plus, being around friends together makes it easier to form couple friends, which we sorely lack.

Couples who have kids or parents to take care of also need more one-on-one time. Plus, being around friends together makes it easier to form couple friends, which we sorely lack.

But there are aspects of our approach that can benefit everyone. No couple can truly thrive without personal boundaries, and fostering a sense of independence and self-reliance within the relationship is vital to long-term stability. A relationship should be

A relationship should be a foundation built upon strong, well-made bricks. You don’t want a homogeneous slab of gray concrete.

How to ask your spouse for space.

Even though Sam and I allow ourselves space these days, it wasn’t always this easy. I struggled to understand his introverted tendencies and why he didn’t feel like socializing as much as I did.

Asking for space is hard and can offend your partner. Why would you need space from someone you love?

That’s why it’s important for introverts to explain clearly: “It’s not that I need to get away from you, I just need to take some time for me.” Your partner should understand it’s not about them if you explain that having time for yourself will strengthen your marriage.

The same is true from the opposite perspective. If your introverted partner is pressuring you to stay in and nest when you want to spread your wings, it’s time to have a talk. Opposites may attract, but that doesn’t mean they understand each other. That’s where honest communication comes in.

There’s no reason to be together all the time. And, in the long run, you might benefit from spending some time apart. Just because you’re soulmates doesn’t mean you’re never apart.

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Do you know why your life is miserable? Some of the things you do every day could be causing that distress. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

We’ve all been down in the dumps. Some of us are there right now.

While clinical depression is a medical condition that should be treated professionally, there are plenty of situations where someone is miserable because of controllable factors.

Read ahead if you’re looking to get your life back on track, and tackle the issues turning your smile upside down. Here are five reasons why you might have a miserable life — and how you can fix it:

1. You’re not grateful.

An article from Harvard Health Publications said that gratitude is one of the keys to developing happiness. You can’t be happy without being grateful for what you have.

Gratitude can be cultivated, like any habit. Grab a journal and write down three reasons why you feel grateful every day. I used to do this regularly, and would write things like, “I’m grateful I got free lunch at work today! Mmm. I love Panera.”

Gratitude items don’t have to be complicated. Being content with small moments of joy in your life can be enough. In fact, it’s probably better if you’re looking to find the magic in just about everything.

2. You don’t try to feel better.

I spent a full year after graduating from college being moping around and feeling sorry for myself. I was working in a small town, far away from everyone I loved in a job I hated. I felt so alone.

But I didn’t do much to counteract that feeling. I holed up in my apartment, where I watched Netflix by myself. No wonder I thought I had a miserable life. Looking back, I should have tried harder to make friends and be a part of the community.

Think about the advice you’d give a friend going through the same thing. Would you let them feel sad, or would you encourage them to try a few things that might help?

3. You’re not comfortable by yourself.

Much is made about the positive effects of socialization on mental health, but there’s a flipside. If you’re so dependent on other people to feel happy that you’re uncomfortable keeping your own company, it’s time to reassess.

I first learned this while I spent a summer interning in New York. I had a few friends in the city, and spending time with them helped me forget about missing my boyfriend and stressing out about my job.

It took a while before I felt comfortable doing what I wanted to do, even if it meant doing it alone. I quickly realized that my time off was scarce and precious, and if I wanted to see everything on my bucket list, I had to say no to my friends who wanted to do something else.

This wasn’t about trying to convince people to do the things I wanted to do. It was about saying, “I’m happy you want to go to Chinatown, but I want to go the Brooklyn Flea Market today. I’m fine whether or not you come with me.”

I would have loved to have company, but forcing myself to practice independence made me more confident and self-assured. That summer is when I learned how to be happy taking myself to the movies, to dinner, and to concerts. Friends are great, but sometimes you need to take yourself on a date.

Try doing things once a month by yourself. You’ll learn how to enjoy your own company and not rely on other people to make you happy.

4. You focus on the negative.

A friend of mine is always blunt about what she doesn’t like — even when it doesn’t need to be said. One time, we held a potluck and a mutual friend brought over homemade mushroom soup. She looked at the soup, realized it had mushrooms and said, “I’m not going to eat that.”

She wasn’t allergic to the mushrooms. She just didn’t want to eat them. When she said that, she put a damper on the mood and likely hurt our other friend’s feelings. At a different potluck, I mentioned how I loved the guacamole someone brought. She replied, “It had too many onions. When I ate it, all I could taste were onions.”

Don’t be this person.

When you zoom in on the negative aspects of a situation, they become all you can see. Like any habit, practicing negativity allows you to see it more clearly in every aspect of your life. It’s not a healthy quality for someone trying to live a happier life.

Take a step back and think about the good things. Maybe the soup has a delicious broth or you can’t taste the onions as much when you add more salt. The more you focus on the good, the more you’ll find it.

5. You compare yourself to others.

This is a habit that I’m trying to work on, but still trips me up. It can manifest itself even when I’m feeling happy about who I am.

For example, I can feel good about my body when I’m sweating in the gym. Until I see a girl with bigger muscles and a slimmer waist. I might feel fine about running errands in yoga pants and no makeup. Until I see a girl who looks totally put together.

In those situations, I try to remember that someone else looking great doesn’t make me an ugly duckling. Life doesn’t have to be a zero-sum game with clear winners and losers. I should be able to stand confidently by myself without feeling bad because I’m standing next to Barbie.

Once you pay attention to why you have a miserable life, you can find ways to tweak your day to bring more joy.

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Don’t let your friends lead you astray financially. Take charge of your finances and avoid spending money like your fam. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

We’re all just trying to figure it out after college.

Even though some friends seem calm and in control, they’re probably just hiding their uncertainty. It’s easy to get into a feedback loop with this mindset. Everyone compares themselves to idealized versions of their acquaintances.

This can be especially harmful when it comes to managing your money. If you spend enough time around people who overspend to gain status, that level of extravagance starts to feel normal. Before you know it, you’re shopping for jewelry and meeting up for expensive brunches every weekend on a barista’s salary.

If you feel like your spending is out of control around friends, it’s time to break the cycle.

Here’s why you need to treat money differently than your friends — and how to make it happen:

Your friends are bad with money.

If your friends are anything like the general public – and they probably are – they’re bad at managing money. Almost 75% of Americans are in debt, and the average savings rate is only 5% according to an article from Fiscal Times.

Unless you’re part of a select crowd that defies these odds, you can probably benefit from managing your money differently.

What does it actually mean to be good with managing your money? Here are some general guidelines:

You put 10% to 15% of your income toward retirement. To retire while you’re still active, you need to be regularly saving in an investment vehicle like an IRA or 401(k) (provided by your employer). If you started saving later in life, you may need to increase your percentage to catch up.
You actively pay down debt or are debt-free. When you have debt, you pay interest straight into someone else’s pocket. That interest is money you’re throwing away each time you make a payment. Debt robs your ability to save for long-term goals and enjoy the income you have now. Being debt free is a key part of long-term financial success.
You have an emergency fund with three months’ to a year’s worth of expenses. One way to avoid getting into debt is having an emergency fund to cover any surprise expenses that come up. An emergency fund can keep you solvent if you lose your job, need a hospital visit, or have to fly home for a funeral.

Peer pressure is real.

The American Institute of CPAs and the Ad Council ran a survey and found that more than 75% of millennials “use their friends’ financial habits to determine their own.”

This is great if your friends live in a basement apartment to save money. It’s not so good if they go out to eat every day.

I know I’m tempted by the people I hang out with. If we’re at a restaurant, I’ll get dessert if someone else does. Even though I’m conscious of my money, seeing someone else spend freely gives me the subconscious permission to do the same.

It’s the same when I go shopping with someone else. Will friends ever tell you not to buy something you love? Who wants to do that?

It’s tough to avoid the influence of your friends, so you need to remind yourself why you’ve decided to spend money a certain way. For example, when I graduated college I made the commitment to pay off my student loans in three years.

Having that clear goal in mind made it easier to say no. No to eating out, no to shopping, and no to the bars and clubs. It was still hard, and confusing, to the people around me, but it kept me mostly on track.

If you have a specific financial goal, use that as motivation to say no. Maybe you’re saving for a trip to Paris or a new car. When your friends ask if anyone wants to get an appetizer, just say, “Nah, I’m trying to go to Europe next spring.”

Set the standards.

It’s hard to avoid spending money if all your friends want to do is go out to brunch or buy concert tickets. Instead of saying no or feeling guilty for agreeing, be the person to come up with frugal ideas. Suggest a potluck or wine and cheese night instead of a pricey evening out.

This is a strategy I used when I was aggressively paying off my loans. I wanted to hang out with my friends, but I was cautious of going out to eat or going to the movies. Instead, I’d invite them over for Netflix or movie nights.

Sometimes my friend Jess and I would go to Costco together or run other errands. Sure, it wasn’t as entertaining as a boozy brunch, but it’s part of the reason I’m debt free today.

Plus, spending time together casually can be just as valuable a bonding experience as something that costs money.

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It’s the end of an era. Now you have to decide how to respond on social media. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

Breaking up used to be so much simpler.

While the heartbreak never changes, the fallout of a nasty separation didn’t used to be so toxic. When relationships fell apart, it was entirely possible to move on without frequent reminders of what you once had.

Those days are loooooooooooong gone.

With the relatively recent rise of social media as a primary form of communication, the private has become public. Breakups are now events witnessed by everyone in your news feed, and any semblance of a dignified separation can be shattered by a single insensitive comment on Instagram.

So how can you move on without embarrassing yourself or your ex on the internet? How do you navigate the waters of breakup etiquette in this new digital landscape?

Avoid vaguebooking.

It’s tempting to spill your guts on social media after you’ve been dumped. Usually, that takes the form of an indirect, passive-aggressive message about loss, love, and life. But don’t think vagueness is fooling anyone. All your friends know who those Taylor Swift lyrics are referring to.

It will make you look desperate and pathetic if you publicize you broken heart all over the internet. Solution? Buy a journal and write in it every time you’re tempted to go public with those feelings.

Journal therapy can decrease anxiety, depression, and grief, so it can likely help you mend. Schedule a daily time to write down your thoughts, or keep a notebook around you when you’re tempted to write a melodramatic novel on Facebook.

Don’t delete your photos.

If you’ve spent enough time with someone, you likely have proof of your relationship all over Facebook. You may be tempted to remove all that evidence — especially if you’re angry about being dumped.

Don’t do that.

At some point, when you feel less bitter, you may want to look at those photos and even remember them fondly. No one stays a jilted lover forever, and you may be grateful for your past relationships when you see where they’ve led you.

Plus, deleting photos shows you’re not prepared to handle the breakup in a mature way. If you’ve tagged other people besides your ex in the photos, they may be bummed to find out their memories are gone too.

Abstain from social media altogether.

Spending time on social media is not the answer any time you’re feeling emotional. Studies indicate that social media use can cause people to crave attention and seek it in unhealthy ways.

Try detaching from your phone and temporarily deleting your social apps. Seeing happy couples on Instagram might fuel jealousy. Finding out your ex has already moved on through Facebook is even worse.

You don’t have to give up your phone. You can use apps like Duolingo to brush up on your Spanish or Headspace to practice meditating. New habits will help you move on, and focusing on personal improvement can help you come out the other side a better person.

If you’re having trouble staying away, use extensions such as StayFocusd or Simple Blocker to limit how much time you can spend on social media. Other apps like BreakFree Cell Phone Addiction will send an alert when you’ve been on your phone too long.

Ignore your ex.

Everyone loves to Facebook and Instagram stalk, and there’s no better subject than a recent ex. When you start stalking, it can be impossible to stop. If your ex is active on social, you’ll likely find photos of them having fun, enjoying their new single status or, even worse, dating someone else.

I used to spend hours looking up ex-boyfriends on social after getting dumped. Trust me: I wish I could take back that time. I would have found out when they’d moved on anyway, and I could have been doing something healthy or productive instead.

Looking up your ex on social is an exercise in masochism. It won’t help you move on.

Looking up your ex on social is an exercise in masochism. It won't help you move on.Click To Tweet

Delete personal comments off your page.

Everyone has a nosy aunt who loves to comment on any and every event in their life. It may not even occur to her that when she posts, “Sorry to hear you and Adam broke up!” everyone — including Adam — can see it.

If you see comments like that, delete them and message that individual privately. They may not realize what they’re doing and assume it’s like sending you a personal email. Be polite, but firmly explain why it’s not appropriate to make those statements on a public forum.

We’re all trying to navigate the new media landscape the best we can, but it can be hard for some people to discern what’s appropriate and what’s not. Setting clear boundaries for what you allow for discussion publicly makes it easier for everyone involved.

If you’ve broken up with someone recently, how did you deal with it on social media?

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It’s not all rainbows and unicorns when you work from home. Here’s how to stay focused on what really matters when you don’t have a boss breathing down your neck. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

When you start working from home, the future looks paved with gold.

No commute, no pesky coworkers, and no distractions. Right?

Unfortunately, reality always rears its ugly head. While you may have more free time on paper, it’s easy to let those hours slip through your fingers when you become your own boss. The fear of underperforming starts to disappear, and by the time you realize how much your productivity has slipped it could be too late.

Rather than learning the hard way, nip those lazy tendencies in the bud. Here are three strategies for staying focused when working from home, cobbled together from over 10 years of experience as a freelance journalist and blogger:

Analyze your distractions.

In the 13 months I’ve been working from home, I’ve found a few repeat distractions: I can’t work if it’s messy around me, I need to sit in a real chair (not the couch), and I can’t be distracted by conversation.

Your distractions might be different. Maybe you need total silence. Maybe working too close to the kitchen inspires too many snack breaks. If you need silence, get noise-cancelling headphones. Move your home office further from the kitchen.

Everyone has different preferences, so analyze how you feel working in various spaces. Even though I feel most comfortable working in bed, it’s not where I’m most productive. I have to sit at a desk or table to feel like I’m working.

Use technology to help you.

I’m attached to my phone 24/7, and I recognize that it’s my biggest barrier to productivity. I try to leave it in a different room when I’m working or keep it out of sight (right now it’s behind my laptop where I can’t see it). Some people also turn their WiFi off to avoid the lure of surfing the internet.

Technology can either help you stay on track or derail you entirely. If you’re interested in leveling up, here are some of my favorite apps and tools:

StayFocusd. I use this app to limit how much time I can spend on Facebook and other addictive sites. You can allot yourself a certain amount of time for different websites, keeping you abreast of your daily news feeds without allowing yourself to drown in them.
Kill News Feed. This app blocks my Facebook news feed so I don’t go down the black hole of updates. This is mostly so I can only use Facebook to update my blog’s Facebook page and check in the professional groups I’m part of. It doesn’t stop you from Facebook stalking your ex, though, so I use it conjunction with StayFocusd.
Simple Blocker. This is another app that blocks any website you want (Reddit and Wikipedia are two other big culprits for me). You can enter as many websites as you like.
Tomato Timer. I love using the Pomodoro Method (25 minutes on task with five-minute breaks) and this website simplifies the process. It’s much better than setting a Google “five-minute timer” over and over.
Trello. Trello is one of my favorite to-do apps. You create cards for each task and can assign specific due dates, upload documents, and even transfer them to other people. I have a variety of Trello boards for writing assignments, working on my blog, creating my course, and more. I have one Trello board that I use for organizing article ideas that I can use when pitching clients.

One of my low-tech standbys for staying focused when working from home is an old-fashioned paper planner. At the beginning of each month, I write down what I have to do that month and assign those tasks to specific work days. That way, I know on each day what I’m supposed to do.

Find an accountability partner.

One of the biggest reasons I stay focused is that I have an accountability group I check in with daily. We share what we did the day before and our goals for today.

One day I was feeling sick and lazy and reported that I hadn’t completed any of my goals. One of my accountability partners immediately responded and ask what he could do to help me reach my goals. He asked what was holding me back. I felt so guilty that I completed all my tasks as soon as I signed off.

When you work from home, you likely don’t have anyone standing over your shoulder wondering why you’re looking at Buzzfeed listicles or cat videos instead of working. Finding an accountability group can help you re-create the atmosphere of a boss monitoring your productivity. If you do get stuck on a project, you’ll also have someone to brainstorm with.

My group uses Slack to check in. It’s easier to use than text and can be done on your phone or your desktop.

Working from home offers amazing advantages, but you do need to stay focused. What are your best strategies for staying on task when you work from home?

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Your first credit card feels amazing. It’s like getting extra money. Only problem? It’s not. It’s a loan. You need to be on top of things if you use credit cards. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

It’s a simple piece of plastic, but it can help you reach your goals – or destroy your financial life. It’s a credit card. Even though they’re everywhere, you may not know the nitty gritty about them.

Before you decide to get that plastic and use it to rack up untold amounts of debt, you need to know the basics. First of all, it’s vital to understand that we’re not talking about your money here. It’s someone else’s money, and they are loaning it to you. It has to be repaid.

Credit cards can be great tools that lead to rewards and cash back and convenience. But you have to be careful and realistic. Here’s what you need to know about credit cards:

1. Not all credit cards are created equal.

Credit cards are one type of financial instrument that you can use, and they can, like insurance, be part of a well-rounded financial life. Like student loans or mortgages, though, not all credit cards are the same. Here are some examples of different types of credit cards:

Travel credit cards: These cards have rewards designed to benefit those who travel often. These protections and perks include no foreign transaction fees, free baggage check, access to exclusive airline lounges, bonus miles when you sign up and more. They can be pretty sweet when you use them right.
Cash back cards: Everyone loves cold, hard cash. Cards with cash-back rewards return a certain percentage of your purchases. Some cards offer cash back on all purchases, while some only do so for certain categories, like gas stations and grocery stores.
Business credit cards: Business credit cards come with different terms and conditions than personal credit cards, but usually have higher credit limits and different rewards to help those running their own operations.

I have all three types of credit cards and am a big proponent of them. I’ve earned free trips and thousands in benefits by using credit cards responsibly. A couple of my credit cards also give me free access to my credit score, so I can make sure I’m staying on track.

2. They can protect you.

Credit cards get a bad rap for encouraging people to spend money they don’t have. But cards also provide extra support. Many credit cards have fraud protection so you don’t have to pay for any purchases in case your card is lost or stolen.

Credit cards also let you dispute purchases. If you buy something on eBay that comes in damaged, you can dispute the transaction with the credit card issuer. I’ve used this a lot if I’m trying to return something defective or if I was unhappy with a service I received. Some cards also extend warranties for items you buy using the card.

Many cards have no foreign transaction fees, which usually cost 3%. If you go on vacation and spend $500 abroad, you’ll owe $15 in fees. If you rent a car, a credit card often has collision damage coverage on rentals, saving you about $20 a day.

These perks and protections can save your ass, so double-check your benefits. You might be surprised at what’s available – at no extra charge.

3. Always pay your balance.

Your credit card statement shows your current balance, your minimum payment, and when your bill is due. The minimum payment is usually a very small percentage of what you owe (less than 5% of your total balance). If you only make the minimum payment, it can take you years to pay off even a small balance because most of your payment goes to interest charges.

For example, if you have a $500 balance on your credit card with 15% interest and your minimum payment is $15, it will take you 44 months (according to Bankrate’s calculator) to pay off that balance. During that time, you’ll pay $150 in interest.

4. Don’t use them as an emergency fund.

According to Credit Karma, the average credit card limit in 2016 was $9,606. With access to that kind of cash, it can be tempting to think of your card as an emergency fund or backup in case you lose your job.

But that’s not a reason to use a credit card. If you don’t have the money to pay off your credit card balance at the end of the month, you’ll have to pay interest on your balance. The average APR for credit cards is about 15%. That’s a real pain in the ass when you’re trying to get started with a solid financial future.

If you don’t feel comfortable having access to so much money, you can call your credit card company and ask them to lower your credit limit. If you still end up spending more than you’re comfortable with, you may have to cancel your card.

Credit cards have a bad reputation, but they’re like casinos and lottery tickets. You can use them responsibly and enjoy their benefits or find that they lead you to temptation.

If you have a credit card, which one do you have?

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College isn’t just about book learning and boozy weekend fun. Use this time to find powerful connections and learn practical skills. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

Education for its own sake is admirable. It can expand your worldview, enhance your perspective, and sharpen your mind. It can even make you a happier, more content person.

But will it land you a job?

As important as the college experience can be to developing skills necessary to kick off a successful career, an impressive GPA just isn’t enough to get you hired. You need experience – practical experience.

You want to get more out of your time at school than a diploma and a massive hangover.

Network to make those personal connections.

Experienced career-climbers aren’t lying when they say, “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” While I like to think that I’m an awesome and qualified person, the reality is that it doesn’t matter if others don’t know that you are. So many of the jobs I’ve gotten over the years have been due to a personal connection. Someone was willing to step up for me and tell their own peeps that I am awesome.

I wasn’t born knowing all the right people – I developed those ties over the years. I networked through my student newspaper, which brought in alumni to talk about their careers. When older students graduated, they became a new lifeline that we could use to find jobs.

That same wisdom applies to professors, who may have been leaders in their field at one time. A few friends of mine got their first jobs out of college because a professor recommended them to former colleagues.

Talk to career services.

Most colleges have a career services department designed to help you find internships and secure employment. Some have email lists where they send out potential opportunities. Others can sit with you personally to determine the best path.

Remember, these people are typically very busy. They have an obligation to help, but you may need to prod them a bit to find the opportunities you’re looking for.

Don’t give up. Be persistent. Career services have an interest in helping you receive placement, so they’ll be a good resource.

Get resume and interview help.

While you’re at career services, check in and get a little resume and interview help. Most schools offer these services and you should take advantage of them. Your fees pay for it anyway.

A poor resume can doom your chances at finding a job, even if you have great credentials. Shaky interview skills will do the same – even if your resume is a work of art. As someone who’s hired interns and conducted interviews, I’ve seen how a stand-out candidate can lose all validity over the course of an interview.

Learning great interview skills in college is more important than acing your econ final, so work hard to develop that skill. You can also practice with your friends and use common interview questions as your guide.

Shop your resume around and gather feedback from as many people as possible. You never know who might catch the one typo you missed.

Find internships.

I’m not sure where I would be in my career if it weren’t for all the internships I had during college. Internships are part of the journalism culture, but they’re available in almost any discipline. Some are paid, but many are done just for college credit.

While it sucks to work for free, don’t let that discourage you. Consider it an investment in your future career. Just a week ago, I was talking to a prospective client about a summer internship I had. Coincidentally, he had been one of the top editors when I was there. That common ground proved my credibility, even though it’s been six years since the internship concluded.

You can find internship listings online, but it never hurts to talk to a company that you admire. Even if they don’t have a formal internship program, they may be willing to make an exception for a passionate young professional.

College isn’t just about book learning and boozing it up on the weekends. It’s also about developing practical skills and connections that can help you with a solid start in life.

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The things you learn from your first crappy job will help you be a better adult the rest of your life. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

A bad job will crush your soul.

It will leave you feeling stressed out, worn down, and ready to throw in the towel. It will make you re-think your career, sabotage your relationships, and generally make you question whether or not being an adult is even worth it.

What if bad jobs aren’t always a bad thing?

Much like a near-death experience, a really bad job can give a needed dose of perspective. It can tamper unrealistic expectations, and set you up to be happier and more successful in the long run. It can even teach you a thing or two about yourself.

A bad job makes you humble.

I worked as a newspaper reporter on my first job straight out of college, where I quickly learned a harsh truth: cub reporters have to pay their dues. We all had to work holidays, and those with the most seniority got to choose which holiday they worked. Because I was the newest, I had to take what was usually left: Thanksgiving.

That first year, I worked Thanksgiving and Black Friday while my co-workers spent those days with their families. I was also the one to fill in for our night cops reporter when he left, so I worked 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. my last few months on the job.

I was miserable, but I soon came to understand why I was in that position. It wasn’t malicious. No one took joy in the fact that I ate McDonald’s on Thanksgiving. In fact, every single person above me on the totem pole had gone through exactly the same situation.

It’s easy to feel like you deserve a better gig, especially if you worked hard in college. I spent most of my time in school working at the daily student newspaper and my summers interning at various media companies. I thought I deserved more after college than covering school board meetings in some Podunk town.

In reality, that was precisely what I deserved. Having a crappy first job experience brought me down a peg, and taught me the dangers of unrealistic expectations. I realized that a comfortable, satisfying job right out of the gate wasn’t just unusual; it was practically unheard of.

A bad job makes you grateful.

Having that job made me more thankful for my next opportunity at a nonprofit, where I didn’t work nights, weekends, or holidays. I was so happy to be somewhere else that I didn’t even care I was still earning less than my friends.

The feeling of gratitude lasted until I left three years later. It sustained me when I did have to work long nights or the occasional weekend. That perspective has stuck with me through every crappy job experience I’ve had in my career. I can be grateful that it will never be as crappy as that first job.

A crappy job teaches you to create your own happiness.

During my newspaper gig, I started a blog chronicling how I was trying to save money and pay off my student loans. My bosses loved the blog, and it was the one thing I really enjoyed writing. Covering car crashes and house fires was not exactly fulfilling.

Six months of blogging about frugal living for the paper led to me starting my own blog. That has now morphed into a freelance writing career covering personal finance, where I make twice as much money with half the stress. But I had to take charge of what really made me happy in order to find that path.

If you’re in a job you hate, take on new opportunities to see what really gets you fired up. It may take some experimenting, but you’ll come out the other side with a clearer view of what truly makes you happy.

And you may never have to take a crappy job again.

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A single hospital visit can bankrupt you. What happens if you total your car and can’t afford a new ride? Make sure your assets are covered. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

The idea of insurance doesn’t necessarily jive with the mindset of a young person. It took me way too long after college to really get serious about insuring my stuff. What’s life without a little risk, right?

In reality, that mindset doesn’t usually last through the first emergency or disaster that strikes while you’re uninsured. It’s easy to laugh it off when you’ve been lucky, but one bad day teaches you the importance of making sure you cover your assets.

Being a fully functioning adult requires that you be ready to protect what’s yours.

Why insurance is important.

Insurance is like wearing a helmet while you’re biking. You may not need it, but you’ll be glad you put it on when you take a tumble.

“Having quality auto, health, renter or homeowner, and life insurance is vital to protecting yourself and your family — or your future family — from the unexpected,” says blogger Eric Rosenberg of Personal Profitability.

But choosing an insurance company is hard work. First, decide what coverage you need. If you need both renters and car insurance, can you choose the same company and save money with a multi-policy account?

The two most important factors with insurance are the premium (how much you pay each month) and the deductible (how much you pay to file a claim and receive money from your insurance company). Your car insurance premium may cost $100 a month with a $500 deductible.

That means if you get into an accident and do $600 worth of damage to your car, you’ll have to pay the $500 deductible before your insurance covers the rest.

Car insurance.

Most companies offer a multi-car discount for families with more than one automobile. Premium rates vary based on how much coverage you have, so don’t base your judgment solely on how much you’ll pay each month.

For example, coverage for uninsured or underinsured drivers is optional, but often a good idea. When I got hit by an uninsured driver, my car suffered $3,000 worth of damage. My insurance company handled everything because I’d opted for that extra coverage.

This is a common theme in every area of insurance: risk tolerance. You need to toe the line between how much you’re willing to pay monthly, and how comfortable you are with the risk of being caught uninsured. In an ideal world, we could all afford comprehensive coverage in every area, but the real world is a little more restrictive.

Renters insurance.

Lee Huffman, who owns several rental properties, says he always recommends renters insurance to his tenants. Most renters policies cost less than $20 a month, but can reimburse you in case your valuables are stolen or damaged.

“As a rental property investor, we remind our renters that the landlord’s insurance covers the building only,” he says. “It does not cover any of the personal items of the renters, nor does it cover the renter in case someone gets hurt and tries to sue them.”

Take pictures of your most prized possessions and keep receipts for anything valuable. Those will help if they’re lost or damaged and you need to file a claim.

Health insurance.

The Affordable Care Act requires that you have health insurance or pay a fine. This year the fine will be 2.5% of your income or $695 per adult — whichever is greater. For example, if you have an adjusted gross income of $40,000, your fine will be $1,000.

One hospital visit can bankrupt you when you don’t have health insurance. You are your most valuable asset, so make sure that’s covered. Millennials in good health are often fine purchasing a high-deductible plan and paying a smaller premium. You can use a Health Savings Account in conjunction with your high-deductible plan for even better results.

Life insurance.

This type of insurance is vital if there’s someone relying on your income, like a spouse or child. If your spouse dies, can you afford to live without them? Can you pay the mortgage by yourself? Can you raise your child on one income? Single parents should consider purchasing life insurance so their children will have protection in case they pass away.

Rosenberg recommends term, not whole, life insurance for millennials. The younger you are when you purchase a policy, the cheaper it will be.

“You are never as young and healthy as you are today, which is the best time to lock in a 30 year policy,” he says.

Don’t let the unexpected ruin your finances. Cover your assets with the right insurance and you can shore up your finances from disaster.

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Are you really adulting? Or are you checking things off a list? Just because you’re doing what others say you “should” doesn’t mean you’re truly adulting. Read More...

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Zina Kumok

Now that most of my friends are close to 30, I’ve seen some pretty big changes in their lives: weddings, babies, mortgages. Our lives mirror our parents now more than they do our younger cousins: fewer frat parties, more 401(k)s.

It’s easy to feel like an adult as you cross off those big milestones. But all those changes don’t make you an adult. Being an adult is how you handle and go through life, not about the steps you hit on your way there.

Getting married.

A few weeks ago, I met up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in three years. We chatted over dinner and he said he couldn’t believe I was married. I told him that married life is not any different than living with my boyfriend, which we’d done for almost two years before tying the knot.

Successful marriage requires you to be more considerate and thoughtful of the decisions you make, but just being married doesn’t make you any more of an adult. I’ve seen so many people get married for the wrong reasons — even though they knew it was a bad idea.

Marriage doesn’t require any sort of special adulting hall pass. Walking down the aisle can seem like an adult decision, but the reality is that all you really need is $20 and a piece of paper.

Getting married does not make you good at relationships, it doesn’t make you more mature and it certainly doesn’t make you happier. It can give you a tax break and a whole lot of wedding gifts, but marriage is really something you do because it feels right, not because you’re at “that point” your life.

Buying a new car.

If you’re used to driving around in a used car or your mom’s hand-me-down, buying a new shiny car can feel like the most adult decision. But buying a new car is one of the worst ways to start off your adult financial life.

A new car loses its value as soon as you drive off the lot, and the monthly payments can impact your ability to save for retirement, an emergency fund, or something else you really want.

I know it can feel embarrassing to drive an old car after all your friends have upgraded. I still had my 1999 Toyota Avalon that while most of my friends were driving cars actually produced in this millennium.

But I didn’t want a new car. I wanted to pay off my student loans, save for an emergency fund, and travel the world. New car payments would have only made all these things impossible.

Adulting is about creating a life you want and you’re happy with, not one that’s based on other people’s decisions or what society says you should have.

Buying a house.

Buying a house is the ultimate purchase. Until you buy a home, you’ve been living somewhere that doesn’t belong to you. For most people, a home is the biggest asset — and a mortgage is the biggest monthly expense.

A mortgage is not just something adults “do.” It’s a huge financial decision that you shouldn’t take on if you’re not ready for it. Just because everyone around you is buying houses doesn’t mean you have to get one too.

Buying a home can change the landscape of your financial future. It impacts whether or not you can move somewhere else for a better job or if you can afford to work on the road. A home can be a great investment or it can cost you thousands of dollars.

Bottom line.

Nothing automatically makes you an adult. Being an adult is about taking care of your responsibilities while creating a life that has value to you. It’s about being a person you’d be proud to be friends with. Buying a house or car or getting married doesn’t make you an adult. What you do with it does.

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